24

It has been more than 24 hours since I last held my baby.

I feel ... I don't know. I've been at the computer for hours again, wasting time, trying to distract myself from the fact that my arms are empty, that my baby isn't my baby any more.

My mind keeps wandering to Roo, of course. Wondering where she is and what she's doing. How she is, if she's pooped yet, how she's been eating, if she's gotten lots of snuggles and kisses.

Despite 12 hours of sleep, this has been the longest 24 hours of my life, as well as the hardest, and the worst, and the most unbearable.

I'm hoping the next 24 Roo-free hours are easier. More bearable. Contain less hysterical sobbing and screaming and heartache.

If you are reading this, please pray for me. I need it now more than ever.