Running out of time

I have so many things I want to do while I still have Roo. So many things I need to do. I wonder if I'll get it all done in time.

I have been trying to write things down that P and M need to know - sort of an "all about Roo" notebook - what kind of formula to buy, what size diapers, Roo's schedule (if you can call it that), that sort of thing. And I need to write letters as well - to Roo, to P and M. But it's so hard to make myself sit down and write things out. Not because I don't know what to say, or because I am putting it off. I simply hate to take a second away from my baby. I feel like if she's awake I need to be holding her, talking to her, cuddling her, feeding her. And when she sleeps, I have to sleep. She sleeps so little during the day (catnaps, mostly) that I have to take every hour I get at night. And when she does fall asleep during the day or evening, it's usually after I've been holding her against my shoulder, and she sleeps so peacefully when she's held that I am loathe to put her down.

I let my mom hold her as often as she (my mother) wants to, and I eat or blog or shower, depending on the time of day. I know I should take this time to write my notes and letters, but again, I can't. I'll watch my mom hold Roo and talk to her, and I'll talk to her too. I soak up every second I have with her. I stare at her sweet little face, trying to burn her image in my mind so I can call it up when I need it. What I need is more time, I think to myself. But there is not more time. There will never be enough time. I could hold my baby for eternity and still want more.