THIS just kills me. The whole article is a tragedy, really. This poor woman had her priorities so messed up. It hurts my brain just thinking about it.
But you know that kills me the most? This line here, where she says, "I knew, even before I rang Richard to tearfully break the news, that I couldn't have our baby. I didn't see how it would be possible to combine my studies with being a mother, and there was no way I could see myself being able to give a child up for adoption."
In other words, "Adoption would be too hard, so I think I'll kill my baby instead."
I swear, when I read that last sentence, I felt like I'd been punched in the gut. What utter selfishness! What arrogance! What cruelty! If it would be that hard to give a child up for adoption, wouldn't it be even harder to have that baby aborted? I just don't understand that.
And I know that nine weeks isn't considered late-term or anything, but it still makes me want to cry. At nine weeks, there's a heartbeat. There are fingers and toes. Organs and muscles are starting to function. Taste buds are developing.
Here's an embryo at nine weeks (I found this on Google Images, and I sincerely hope I'm not breaking any copyright laws; sorry if I am!):
And this woman, this poor, misguided, selfish woman, snuffed that out, because she couldn't see herself being able to give her baby up for adoption.
Oh. Em. Gee. My blood boils. That kind of egotism just stuns me. I'm at a loss to describe it adequately. Look, I know I get a bit gloom-and-doom here sometimes. Being a birth mom is tough! It hurts. It sucks. But is it worth it? Would I do it all over again? Absolutely. I would not trade it - or Roo - for anything on earth or in heaven. My pregnancy didn't exactly come at the perfect time for me. But not once did I think, gee, this timing sucks, sorry little embryo. End of the line for you. You're dead. I certainly never saw myself being able to place my baby for adoption. On the contrary, I thought that it would ruin me; break me. But I did it anyway, because I love her.
This woman didn't want to be a mother yet, and so she had an abortion. Urgh! I hate how many people think that the solution to an unplanned pregnancy is either motherhood or abortion. How near-sighted, foolish, and selfish! There is a third option, and it is a wonderful thing. Adoption changes lives for the better - for everyone involved. It's beautiful. I'm so thankful for it!
6 comments:
What beautiful insight! I think this stuff is SUPER IMPORTANT to be sharing, because a lot of people don't realize or think about a third option. You're amazing because you thought of your baby before yourself. Incredible.
Recently I read something that mentioned the number of unplanned pregnancies leading to adoption--I think it was about 1.5%. The rest are single-parented or aborted. I was trying to find that stat and couldn't, but I found another... the study was performed in 2004, but it demonstrated an average of 4000 abortions per day. PER DAY. It makes me sick when I look at the LDSFS adoption profiles. There are only 1000. Less than one day's worth of abortions could bring each of those families a baby. So sad.
In my eyes abortion may very well be the most cruel, inhumane thing a person could ever do. Period. So what if a having a baby right now would ruin your future plans...there are sooo many good people who deserve the right to be parents to your child. Period.
About four years ago, my husband and I were eating dinner at the Cheesecake Factory, where they like to practically sit you at the table of the person next to you. We'd had a rough week with adoption and I'd been feeling horrible about being infertile. Wouldn't you know the two college girls at the table next to us were talking about the unplanned pregnancy that one of them had been faced with. I sat there, trying not to eavesdrop,but kicking myself for not having our pass-along cards with us.
Until I heard the words, "Well, you did what was best for YOU. You can't have a baby now." I froze, staring at my husband realizing that she'd had an abortion the week before. I looked at her and the only thing keeping me from leaping across to her and throttling her was the look on her face.
She mumbled, "Yeah, I guess." I wanted to scream at her and hug her at the same time. She'd done something she could NOT take back. The baby was gone. I settled on running into the bathroom and sobbing for about ten minutes. She didn't have to do that. She had the ability to get pregnant, something I'd have died for, and threw away the gift I'd been struggling for. And she couldn't take it back.
It makes me crazy sometimes. Or, 'crazier' I should say. I'm a mom because someone didn't abort when things got hard. I'm proud to tell my daughter that she's the result of an astounding amount of love and courage.
It is so sickening. I hate that abortion is considered "pro-choice." To me, it's anti-consequence. You're absolutely right - there's another way if you're not ready to parent. But people are too selfish. They want to avoid the stigma of an unplanned pregnancy, the pain of pregnancy, the expense, the stretch marks, the emotions. They just want to erase it. But guess what? Abortion isn't just an eraser. There are bunch of government statistics on the rates of severe depression and spikes in suicides within one year of abortion. Crazy. I wish they knew. There's another option. A better one for all.
I've talked to many people who work with teens, and they have no idea that open adoption exists. I really wonder how many abortions could be avoided if these girls/young women knew what choices they really have.
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